How to Immediately Lose Your Security Deposit

AS_DrillingWe all know the joy of paying a security deposit for an apartment; and if you don’t, well, we’re jealous. But a deposit, as annoying as it is, will get refunded to you at the end of your lease! If you treat the place right. Let’s face it though: who wants that? You’re probably rolling in money, laughing at the fact that you would even want your security deposit back. If that’s the case, here are some great ways to never get that cash back. Oh, to be young and wild and free!

Take in any and all rabid animals
Has that opossum that occasionally goes through your garbage been giving you a puppy face? Puppies shouldn’t get all the cute credit; let that opossum into your heart…and your apartment. Sure, his teeth are a little scary and his breath smells of rotting trash, but nothing a little dental doggy treats can’t fix!

Train your rabid animal
Know what opossums like to snack on? CROWN MOLDING! Let that little guy chew it up. And while you’re at it, make sure his claws are nice and sharp. There’s nothing animals like better than to scratch up the floors. Helps them relax.

Renovate your new space into something more “you”
Knock down a wall or two and really let your space breeeeathe. And if “you” happen to be a lover of the outdoors, just break all the windows! Let the fresh air and rain and snow in all the time.

Invite a baby over for some fruit punch
Talk about the ultimate play time! Don’t bother with the sippy cup, either; makes it more fun!

Have a drill party
Invite all your closest friends over for the time of their life. You can provide different drill bits, but it’s BYOD! Make as many holes as you guys can. Turn on some heavy metal music to really get you in the mood. The walls will pay for it, but hey, worth it. (It’s such a blast!)

Have a cream cheese party
Okay, so things got a little out of hand at the drill party. Your walls look terrible. You know what might help them look better and be a fun brunch game? Fill the holes of your walls with cream cheese! Maybe bring some bagels and lox while you’re at it. It may smell later, but boy, you’ll be the most popular party friend ever.

Begin collecting mold samples
Your fifth grade science project has got nothing on the things you can grow in your very own bathroom! Just be careful not to disturb the cultures while you shower.

Turn your space into a cigar club
Who wants to smoke outside? Sounds uncomfortable. This way, you’ll feel right at home because you are at home. Don’t bother investing in ash trays; just use the carpet!

Invite your friends over for a bonfire…in your living room.
Ahh, nothin’ like singing “cumbayaaaaa” with your friends by a fire that’s fueled by your burning couch.

Use your hallway for the ultimate Slip N’ Slide party
Break out the dish soap and the hose! If you’ve got carpet, even better. Also, no need to clean up; you used dish soap, remember?!

Show your loved ones you care by carving their initials into any hard surface.
It isn’t love unless your countertop says so. LB + SJ 4 EVR!

We hope you’ve found this list as helpful as all of the other irresponsible renters have. After all, who wants more money? If you’re thinking about renting an apartment and actually want your deposit back, make sure to check for helpful tips and tricks. And to those of you that don’t? You’re welcome for the ideas.